How many times have you said Yes to something or someone when really you want to say No? So how do we learn to say No?

Tips on how to say No and mean it

You know that moment when someone asks you to do something or go somewhere and you really don’t want to, but as a million things race through your mind what comes out of your mouth is…….Yes of course.

Anything from being asked to take on more at work, or to attending a party, on most occasions it’s time which plays a big factor in why you should say No more often. Our time is valuable and precious which is why you need to protect it. I’ve talked before about how to gain a good life balance, we all lead busy lives and should be filling it with things which bring an enrichment. Feeling obliged to say Yes will inevitably lead to feeling stressed or resentful.

I’ve written before in posts about how a major life event has changed my perspective on life and one of the things I started finding it easier to say was No. The more I started saying it the easier it became. This wasn’t just to other people but also about decisions I would take and how I spent my time. Part of saying No is respecting yourself as well as practising self love. For me life is too precious to be doing things that don’t enrich my life and make me happy.

Always saying Yes instead of No, in the long run, will not make you happy and will allow people to take advantage of your good nature.

How to Learn to Say No

  1. Take a breath before you give an answer to a question – this gives you time to gather the thoughts which are racing around your brain and to think before you open your mouth
  2. If you feel you need to give more than a polite No – follow it up with a valid, but short honest, reason
  3. Never apologise for saying No – you are entitled to say No to a request, invite etc without having to apologise (see point 2)
  4. Do not compromise – stick to your original answer and don’t back track, you’ll feel better in the long run

If you’re always saying Yes but want to say No more often, here’s a few books that might help you:

The Curse of Lovely: How to break free from the demands of others and learn how to say no by Jacqui Marson

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty by Conni V Hatch Hatch, Patti Breitman

Too Nice for Your Own Good: How To Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson




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